England

The Learnings.

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It’s not only Heather Knight who would say ‘we’ve taken the learnings’, after the crushing defeat of South Africa gave England a series whitewash… but it’s a very Trevor-y thing to say. The England skip is still a top, top player but she’s also a hysterical, that is to say incredibly dull interview. She’s got more Trad England Captain in her bloodstream than Bobby Moore. She’s fabulous, don’t get me wrong, and absolutely not arch-conservative in the way she plays – not anymore – but Knighty dredges up every possible platitude from the Book of Sporting Blandoblurb, when someone sticks a microphone in front of her. It makes me laugh: I expect some of it she does for laughs.

Knight had every reason to be pleased… and expressed that pleasure in exactly the terms you would expect. This does not mean her assessment was either without value or off the mark. She was right to touch base with the ideas of ‘freedom’ and expansiveness, after an utterly dominant performance and a nine wicket win. And it was no surprise to hear the ell-word: learnings are all over the pathways.

England won the toss, chose to bowl and arguably for the second time on the bounce had won the game within about five minutes. South Africa, given that the series had already gone, had lost or rested Wolvaardt and Brits. Have no issue with this; this is how you (as a coach) extract value, by ‘changing things up’ and challenging players: offering them (again to use cricketing/coach-speak) ‘opportunities’. The Proteas camp knew they’d been outgunned, and probably would be again, but viewed that as a developmental opportunity. Fair enough.

What I might query was the insertion of Tunnicliffe as an opener, purely because she looked so completely out of her depth in the last game. *However*; player and coach(es) will have talked that through. She may have volunteered or entirely understood that opening might be a Big Ask… but also a means towards a kind of growth. It didn’t work out. Both she and Bosch were gone cheaply and the South Africans were pretty much dead from there. Shangase offered some resistance in a score of 124 all out but even this was scrappy, shapeless-looking stuff.

Lewis, the England gaffer must have talked about ‘executing well’ and ‘searching for a complete performance’, before this third game – must have. England had won two whilst being notably flawed, in the view of many outsiders. (Certainly in my view). Filer and Bell must have known that most of the home players simply couldn’t live with their pace and quality and therefore the aspiration for them and England was all about the pursuit of excellence. (See previous blog).

The win was always going to take care of itself. This is a weak or weakened South Africa. Therefore seek the highest levels of consistency and execution – let that be your ambition. State it. I bet Lewis did.

Filer’s opening spell – her bowling, in fact – was again mixed. It had just a little of the devastating-by-accident about it. Thrilling pace and bounce which the batters predictably barely knew what to do with. An early wicket but line too wayward. We know she’s bowling high-tarrif deliveries – quick; loopy slower-ones; bouncers and leg-cutters – but Filer, *to spearhead the England attack*, has to be near-as-dammit smack-on, ball after ball. She is not that, yet. There’s time… but will the scatter-gun re-focus?

I’m slightly fascinated to know if Bell had conversations with the coach(es) in which she or they said “ok. No inswingers. The purpose of this game today is to see if I can deliver, without going back to my killer-ball”. It really may have happened – again, I have no problem with that. Clearly Bell has been working hard on an away swinger and/or balls which nip away off the deck. Brilliant and quite right to expand her vocabulary like that. (Could be wobble balls and/or deliveries which are all about seam position being towards the slips. Even if there are no slips).

In game 3, the Shard produced more than a few genuine pearlers (possibly with pace both on and off) which left the right-handed batters – beat them. They would have beaten most. This is good. Under some pressure, she bowled new deliveries with a high degree of success: box ticked.

What Bell also needs to do is eliminate, as far as possible, the loose ones. High tarrif or no, she cannot bowl brilliantly-loopy slower balls down leg, or offer too much width outside off, when the inswinger doesn’t work. As a tandem, Filer and Bell are a work in progress. They were too good for this South African line-up but (with all due respect) bigger challenges lie ahead. *And in any case* this match – this event – was about process more than result(s).

So England went into bat knowing the game was won. Nice. But there was still meaningful work to be done, particularly, of course, for Bouchier and Dunkley. I might have looked them both in the eye and said “ok. We know you gals are working towards nailing down a place. Good. This is a competitive environment. Tonight, Kemp goes in ahead of you”. I really might. Because a) Kemp has something and b) neither Dunkley nor Bouchier has stamped their authority on a particular birth. Unlike Wyatt-Hodge, Sciver-Brunt and Knight, they haven’t been convincing or compelling or consistent enough. They know that; we know that. Sure as hell the coach(es) feel that.

Lewis and co stuck to the less radical plan and Bouchier opened with Wyatt-Hodge, before Dunkley followed. There was some vindication for all because the game was won at a stroll, with Wyatt-Hodge thrashing 50-plus not out and Bouchier striking the ball cleanly, largely, on the way to 35. (She fell to a literally stunning catch from Shangase, reaching hopefully high, at mid-off. The fielders fell about, telling us something about typical levels of expectation. Wyatt-Hodge was dropped on a handful of occasions: one error from Hlubi was alarmingly poor). Because, ultimately she was out, caught, off ordinary bowling, we can offer Bouchier no more than about a 7 out of 10 for her knock, but she did strike the ball well, generally.

Dunkley’ like Bell, like all of them no doubt, has been working hard. She appears to have gone past the seven-year-old clouter-to-leg thing that was her M.O. (I didn’t like it, neither to watch or in terms of results expected over time at the highest levels, but I absolutely accept that if she could have really made that early grip work, consistently, then we as coaches butt out). She didn’t – or not enough. Hence the learning, hence the development.

Dunkley, in her 24 not out, struck two deliveries straightish downtown that she could not have engineered previously. Not with her hands so far apart, in that swishing, bottom-hand style. She creamed these, showing the maker’s name proudly to all and sundry, following through straight. The fact that this feels like Proper Cricket isn’t the thing, here. It’s the fact that it feels like proper cricket * and Dunkley is in a better place to play* because of it. She can *almost certainly* drive more consistently and defend better because of that change in grip and presentation of the bat. It’s HUGE to make this change; I hope Dunkley’s called for it, rather than the coach. I hope it works for her.

Striking out for excellence.

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‘England win by thurty sux runs’. And so they did.

In fact that maybe flattered a very mediocre South Africa – although let’s offer some credit to those batters who took both Ecclestone and Sciver-Brunt for runs, late-on.

The home side had not a cat in hell’s chance of making the required 205 for victory; certainly not without Wolvaardt and Brits going MASSIVE, which they failed to do. The England total – big but not record-breaking – was yet again built around killer contributions from Wyatt-Hodge (78) and Sciver-Brunt (67 not out), with good work from the captain and a cute wee cameo from Jones, at the death.

None of the seven Proteas bowlers could keep their economy below nine runs an over. Before the turn-around, it felt like the series was gone. After about four overs of the South African reply, it was.

Sciver-Brunt bowled two fine overs, removing Brits for nought. (Felt a bit like the game was done, right there). Tunnicliffe came in at 3 and endured the most tortuous inning you’re ever likely to see. How Filer failed to bowl her will remain a world-level mystery: unfortunately for England she produced a ‘mixed spell’ yet again. There was Proper Pace – wonderful to see – but nearly everything was either a foot wide of leg-stick (by the time it got to the wickets), or just outside eighth stump. So not good enough for any of us – let alone the coach – to think ‘yup; she’s The One alright’.

It was Glenn who showed the way.

Sarah G bowls more deliveries pitching on middle and hitting middle than almost anyone else in world cricket. (Meaning a) she hardly spins it but b) she will bowl people swinging across the line). The middle overs leggie was excellent: she finished with four-fer-not-many. Ecclestone and Sciver-B, strangely, took something of a hammering as the game petered out, with a few genuine, nutty blows striking at least a minor psychological wotsit for South Africa as they flew into the smallish crowd. There was, however, no disguising the unbridgeable gap between the two sides.

If Kapp plays it might be different. If Khaka plays she makes a contribution. But they ain’t here… so this *really was* almost an unseemly massacre.

Concerns or questions? We have a few. Firstly that general one about the distance between these two sides. Nat Sciver admittedly can make everyone else look ordinary but her two consecutive 50s-plus, and the untroubled ease with which they were acquired, are heavily, almost brazenly *of note*. Wyatt-Hodge has looked similarly different-level against a weakish (let’s be blunt) South African attack.

Marx went wicketless tonight but was decent at East London: she offers something. De Klerk has looked reasonably consistent. Hlubi took two wickets this evening (much to everybody’s relief, after her multiple traumas) but she is miles away from the required level at the moment, largely because of that alarming void where her confidence needs to be. (Coach; get to work.)

I personally don’t rate Mlaba all that highly but I’m typically out of sync with the Universe of Punditry on that so we’ll move swiftly on. After a look at the scoreboard confirms she went 0 for 44, here. To recycle the obvious, a score of 204 was only remotely get-nearable if Brits and Wolvaardt went BIG… and they didn’t. The former got zilch, the latter her fascinatingly customary 20-something, against England. Again she fell rather tamely.

For the visitors it was a good night – no argument. But the irritants for us fans and watchers continue to irritate. Bouchier and Dunkley both failed again, with the bat, at a time when they will know that they need to show us something. Something consistent. Something compelling. Dunkley then dropped a dolly in the field and Bouchier might have done better with a ball clonked close to her at the boundary. (If I’m Sciver-Brunt, I’m a bit pissed-off).

How to resolve this? Well, maybe give them time. The left-field option of dropping them both – I could certainly ditch Dunkley, her movement and fielding ain’t great – and then elevating either one or both of Knight or Kemp to open or stand at 3, is a live one, for me.

Maybe that’s too wild, too soon, too whatever. But this England still needs a bump or a lift or a kick up the ‘arris to get it to where it needs to be: at a consistent level of yaknow, everything.

This is plainly The Thing and this uneven series does, perhaps a little perversely, offer the opportunity to strike out for that kind of excellence. Knight and co – the usual suspects – went some way towards that tonight: leaving Mr Lewis (the coach) both pleased and frustrated, I’m guessing?

Development – good and bad.

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Let’s have a ramble; a rummage; a wormlike wiggle through the kaleidoscope. A zooming out and in, through the back doors and maybe the bog windows; like we’re *being philosophical* but also scrambling in to see the band without (yaknow) paying. That way we can be irresponsible and disproportionate and blather like the drunken fans we are.

Cricket. England blokes. Pakistan.

That first Test was ludicrous and wonderful and bloody entertaining in a way that re-wrote the laws of art and science all over again, again. England making 6 and 7 an over look routine in the format that still echoes to the voice of Old White Coaches demanding ‘high elbows’. Root being simultaneously relentlessly humble and yet godlike. Brook being ridicu-audacious. Duckett making a nonsense of Commandment Numero Uno – that you just don’t play at anything, early-doors, that isn’t threatening the sticks. Truly special.

We can and should qualify where and when the boldness dips into brain-death but let’s start with The Incontrovertibly Goodly. McCullum and Stokes have built something magbloodynificent. It’s a fabulous, generous contribution; big enough to change coaching and completely re-calibrate expectations around what’s possible, in a game that’s largely stood stubbornly still.

This is some achievement. England do have a good group of players… but how many are nailed-on world-beaters? Or maybe more exactly, (and/or, o-kaaaay, possibly more cheaply, more of the times), how many would be in a World XI? You could make a strong case for Root and Brook and Stokes, perhaps more now for his leadership than his contributions with bat and ball. Interestingly, even if we rolled back the clock a year or two (so as to include Jimmy and Broad), it’s not clear that any or many English (or Welsh) bowlers would make a Best Out There eleven.

What I’m getting at is that the real brilliance of this obviously occasionally flawed England is cultural; is to do with mindsets.

We can all too easily fall into meaningless verbiage when unpicking the ‘process’, here.

Rather wonderfully, in my view, some of it remains mysterious, probably because it’s predicated on the intuition as well as the positive inclination of coach and captain. This takes it beyond analysis.

The thrilling edginess of the Duckett-Crawley axis has grown into a fixture because of the zillion quantifiable advantages of the left-hand/right-hand, big driving bloke/tiddly cutting and sweeping bloke things *but also because of* lashings of belief. Coach and captain believed and encouraged. Crawley boomed on, even when the universe carped. Duckett stayed true to his wild-but-focused striking of every fecking ball that came his way. Inside the England bubble the gambles were absolutely felt and understood as gambols towards a Better Way. The very idea of pressure has become an irrelevance because a) there really are bigger things in life b) there IS an imperative to entertain and c) if we allow ourselves to really embrace opportunities, chances are it will be fun and effective.

So this England (because of complex, intelligent, supportive, ambitious coaching *made simple*) have offered us better entertainment via a revelatory and liberating approach. Fascinatingly, nobody else has gone there, not in Test cricket; not in remotely the same way. We can be certain that other coaches, other nations aspire towards Bazball; they will be using its terminology, its ethics, its drive towards freedoms. Eight billion sports coaches are currently spilling those mantras about ‘expressing ourselves’ – whether to eight-year-old girls or the club First XI. The difference is that words are cheap. The culture has to be authentic. It really has to feel like you.

England Women.

One of the sadder sights of the past month in sport came at the end of England’s World Cup. Sophie Ecclestone, the best female bowler in the universe, in tears, having bowled two full-tosses to concede the runs that put England out.

Of course ‘Eccles’ wasn’t personally responsible for the defeat – the game had gone, by this stage – but she will have hurt big, having bowled two sloppy deliveries, both comfortably dispatched. The tall slow left-armer knew that the exit marked another significant under-achievement, and a huge missed opportunity, as the mighty Australians had also shockingly fallen.

England were poor on the day. Heather Knight had to retire hurt whilst batting but this should not have derailed the effort so wretchedly. (Brutal Truth: the West Indies are consistently mediocre, with just two or three players that might reasonably be considered a threat at this elevated level). Setting a score that was manifestly 20-30 under (their) par should not have been decisive… not given history/resources/the players on the park.

Exceptionally, the England gaffer inserted himself into proceedings at a drinks break. Jon Lewis marched on to have words, when he could see things falling apart. Also exceptionally, he called-out the stand-in skipper Nat Sciver-Brunt, effectively saying that she couldn’t manage or rally the troops in the way Heather Knight might have done. He was obviously angry and disappointed. He probably had every right to be but this is not to say that he had the right to expose Sciver-Brunt in the way he did. It felt classless and makes you wonder at their relationship: do they/have they disliked each other for a period of time? (That happens).

I accept that it’s a fair criticism that this England squad (or individuals within it) has/have been serially susceptible to pressure. To put it dangerously bluntly, they’ve needed to ‘toughen up’ for some years. Lewis could have offered a bollocking (or a whole lot of work) around the lack of resilience on many occasions during his relatively short tenure but it’s been his job to select and coach with exactly these kinds of issues in mind.

To zoom out, he’s responsible for environment and blend of players and personalities. Levels of professionalism and expectation have changed. Expect more; demand more – I have no problem with that – but build the belief; develop the players; support them. It’s your job to turn the fickle into the fierce: and/or discard or deselect those who can’t achieve the evolved non-negotiables for the new era. Not at all convinced Lewis has succeeded at this.

England lost because one or two players on the other side had a good day. This can obviously happen, indeed is likely to happen in this shortened format. (Another reason why players need to be agile, empowered individuals). You mitigate against that as a team by being focused, determined and professional. It didn’t happen. Fielding errors should never be ‘contagious’ but they often are. There were multiple howlers from England. As a fan, I felt embarrassed and a bit angry. This is a particularly well-resourced outfit, compared to all but Australia and India. We get that one of the joys of sport is its unpredictability but this was a patent under-achievement from the Lewis/Knight/Brunt posse.

Finally, that leadership thing. Has Ar Nat always been reluctant to captain? Maybe. If so, again, it falls to the coach to fix that – either by bringing in another potential skipper, or developing the player. Either way he shouldn’t (as well as shouldn’t need to) call out her alleged deficiencies publicly, in or after a World Cup semi-final. Lewis shouldn’t have needed to walk onto that outfield. The work should have done before: selection and development.

Ireland – England: the Dee-word. ‘Weigh things up’.

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So it becomes about development, and maybe that’s okaay?

Ireland got marmalised in the cool wind at Stormont – possibly not the first time this has happened? England, especially the leftie Kemp and the wee dutt Beaumont, battered them, before Cross and Filer cruelly underlined the distance needed to travel. Bat-in-hand, the locals were completely shredded by the pace and guile of the visiting attack.

The whole game was dominated by pace and power – maybe it’s always been that way? Kemp’s dreamy-but-thunderous hitting was visibly different-level. Filer’s raw (but in this instance, kinda wily) rockets similarly marked out this season’s soundbite for us pundits – the ‘point of difference’. Ireland couldn’t cope with the latter and had nothing – have nothing – to approach the former’s languid intensity. Kemp stood and struck – and I do mean struck – a typically entertaining 60-odd. It’s ‘her way’ to look like this is easy… but it was easy, for her.

Interestingly, Beaumont had been scuffling around, compiling what looked to be the worst or least satisfying major knock of her career. When Kemp took charge, it loosened (or freed?) her senior partner up to chip away, reach that milestone and then explode into cartoon character-dom. The opener finished on 150 not out. Kemp had already won the match, dismissing the Irish bowling pretty much at will. Those two were simply better than the women in green.

None of us have any real issue, I suspect, with the fact of Ireland being out-gunned. They look to have only one bowler who is manifestly in the genuinely elite international bowling category – Orla Prendergast. (Or ‘apprenticast/all apprentice/prenographs/oil Apprentice’ as the auto-subtitles thingamejigg fabulously called her, on the otherwise excellent live feed. See my twitter @sportslaureate.co.uk).

Batting-wise, it’s her and maaaybee captain Gaby Lewis and keeper Amy Hunter. Whatever; the detail and/or ‘the record’ could stoke a decent pub chat. There is, however, little or no doubt that we’re talking different strata, here. Beaumont struggled, relatively, then had the class and composure to regather, before assaulting the bowling in the later stages, getting England well beyond 300. The Irish can not get beyond 300: not currently. Not in an international game. *(O-kaaay. Not in an international game against strong opposition).* Which brings us to development.

Rather than bleat about it, let’s look to manage this towards a better day. We all know that England’s vastly superior resources (in terms of dinaros and players) make this a challenge. But it’s also how Ireland, or any other advancing/maturing/progressive or progressing nation gets to stand toe-to-toe. Meaningful games; games against better players; exposure to the scary-but-brilliant.

In practical terms this really might mean England withdrawing batters or bowlers from the contest – either before or during the remaining events. Yes Cross is almost my favourite cricketer but no maybe she doesn’t need to bowl; or play? Beaumont plays to ‘offer much-needed experience’ but is that need greater than that of young player X, who needs to bat? Or more than Ireland need to be able to compete? These ‘risks’ are only risky if your developing players ‘fail’. So coach them and support them… and then let’s see.

‘Course I know some of this is simplistic. There are points at stake and reputations at stake: league tables and salaries and growed-up stuff like that. Weigh things up.

Some of the above is mischief but not this idea that from now on, in this tour, a kind of generosity and understanding needs to be front and centre. What’s the maximum benefit we can all get, here? This is a competitive situation *in brackets*, not a(n entirely) competitive situation. Let’s get real about that but use the remaining edge intelligently to build experience/sharpness/comfort/discomfort/learning in our players. Let’s manage situations so as to maximise development.

Time.

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Blimey, pre-navel-gazing navel gazing. Should I bother? How is it even possible to say something without scratching-up the stalest of territory – about England, about Southgate, about me sounding like a fan, not some responsible authority? It’s probably not. It’s probably not worth it. But so few of the Bigtime Charlies say anything sharp, or interesting, or tactically right, or with the visceral power or heart of the fan, that *right now*, I’m ploughing back into this. (May bin it; if I feel it neither stays true nor contributes anything worthwhile).

England got beat. Not just that, they got beat too easily, given the Southgate Culture-Matrix. That may have been the signature disappointment from the Three Lions perspective, given the now widely-held view of Garethism as a sort of well-meaning (but maybe not exactly purring) blanket of all-court, essentially defensive integrity with occasional flyers.

Walker and Guehi both made poor errors – lazy lapses – to concede the goals but generally, the team in white were off the pace, unable to intercede, were at some distance from their opposition. Given that Article A of the game plan must have read ‘we have to be on it and we have to stop them playing’ this was a pret-ty fundamental flaw, execution-wise, from England. If we were to seek comfort in the bosom of the obvious, we might say that none of Rice/Bellingham/Mainoo/Foden ‘laid a glove’ on their counterparts.

If it was in the plan to sit and not press anywhere at any time then o-kaaay. That retreat would have to be sensationally durable and watchful. (Meaning it may be theoretically possible but England are nowhere near bright or disciplined enough for that). In any case, whilst of course there was an intention to drop and defend stoutly and compellingly, the almost complete and sustained absence of pressure on the ball gifted Spain the opportunity to show the universe that they are indeed the Best Team in this Tournament by a Country Mile.

You can read this as another crass shout-out for a high, hard press, if you want. Another red-faced fan bawling for more Proper Englishness; more heart; more battle. (I don’t see it that way, but carry on). It’s more that England lacked both the legs and intent to pressure Spanish possession intelligently. When a difference could or needed to be made. Some of that can be coached; some, maybe not.

So, again generally, virtually the whole of the England side looked off the pace – reactive, some would say, in the mould and manner of their coach. Bellingham had that weird slo-mo thing of his going on; looking under-geared, getting caught in possession like some out-of-sync giant. Mainoo and Rice were absent as a force, somehow managing to avoid the bread-and-butter stuff as well as the occasional heads-up thrust. Their defence felt non-interventionist, somehow, as the lads in red simply passed to guys in space, who were routinely showing.

Which brings us to Kane. The fella may have been playing hurt the whole tournament… but he’s simply not been playing. Bollocks to the penalties; his contribution was garbage throughout. (Garbage – yes, a word a fan might use, in anger, probably).

I got bit angry with Kane for his almost complete lameness and unavailability and occasional his feeble exaggeration of contact or injury. He ran nowhere and won nothing. He rarely showed. The skipper may be a trusted player, friend and ally for Southgate but he was patently, for whatever reason, unable to contribute. The gaffer, *finally* – for the ludicrously, much-vaunted ‘bold withdrawal’ in favour of Watkins in the previous game was clearly long-delayed – called Kane in around the hour.

The other sub, Palmer, rather predictably woke England up from their slumber. There was a brief period where a contest threatened to brew, but as Pickford appeared to be the appointed (and arguably sole) pinger of vertical passes, the English Threat melted away relatively weakly. There was no great stirring. What we got from Southgate’s team was more of the low energy, menace-lite holding patterns we’ve seen throughout the competition. Players in deep positions lending other players the ball, partly, in fairness because the lads higher up the park lack the wit, spirit, confidence or freedom to burst into space and either gather and turn or race forward.

Most of that is about culture – about the coaching. Elite coaches create environments but they also groove the moves; Guardiola being the peak example. Spain have certainly been offered ‘the freedom to play’ by their gaffer but they have also been instructed to use their bright, incisive little passes. They’ve practiced getting on their proverbial bikes to find places of danger. De la Fuente plainly not only wants them to play generous attacking football but he has had the understanding and the wit to cultivate and then execute that aspiration. On the plus side, this is precisely why the BTTCM won Euro 24. The negative for England is that Southgate has never understood nor been able to produce this – particularly against good opposition.

Nothing is simple and everything is opinion. Mine is that Southgate is an almost fabulous bloke, who has led his country outstandingly well, in socio-political terms. (This is not a backhanded compliment). But despite his longer-term tournament record ‘speaking for itself’, England have mostly been a poor watch and have been beaten by teams who, like them, have strong playing resources. In this tournament, they played one half of football. One half. Outside of that, they had moments.

For a squad including Bellingham, Foden, Saka, Kane, Rice – you name the ones you rate – this both matters and (for me) should be weighed in. There is or should be an aspiration and a will to play entertaining football; particularly if you have ‘players’. In qualifiers, England have sometimes offered quality and even verve. At the major events? No. Largely caution and game-management of a dour, life-squishing kind. In Germany, during a tournament lit up by the fluency and threat of a free-spirited but well-drilled Spanish side, England were poor, despite making another final.

I am happy for Southgate to be knighted. With our respect and our thanks. He should also go – unquestionably. It’s just time.

Brizzle-in-the-drizzle wiv a temporary title…

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Ok normally work faaar too haard on these occasions so have sworn to *at least try* to avoid the usual intense psychokinetic ooojamaflip and ban coffee until noon. Oh – it’s noon. Let’s let rip, baby!!

Been dampish but covers off at noon and players promptly out, to stretch legs and smell the food-stalls. Whitish-grey and cool but our friends at accuweather are promising reduced chances of rain. (This may be the definition of British Summertime, yes?)

Lots of football ‘skills’ from the White Ferns. Businesslike huddle from England: at some distance so not sure if this is yet another Cap Award Ceremony-thang. (You know, those deeply personal moments they stick on tik-tok and insta within about 47 seconds). They break out as I break towards food.

Knock-out fodder, from our friends at Glos. Thankyou to all. Tasty; enjoyable; healthy. Feel (temporarily) dangerously fired-up – look out. And the weather is conspiringly beautifully, or so it appears, for a bowler-friendly start at the appointed time.

Heather Knight wins the toss and of course bowls. England, freed-up by those previous victories, have made three changes: the only significant one being the inclusion of the recently-excluded Dunkley. Wonder if Bell is trying to find that extra yard, with Hannah Rowe about four feet two to her left?

Ah. Rain. The groundspeeps had quite smartly left a chunk of cover out there, next to the strip, just in case. We unfortunately have that case. Sudden, fairly ‘orrible squall. Everyone legs-it. Looks fairly temporary: let’s hope so.

12.56 – so still a few minutes before the scheduled start. Umps are out there & I can only imagine they’ve asked for a prompt start. The Lads – the grounds-crew – are dragging the covers away with decent urgency. Delay should be minor.

Announcement. We go at 13.15. Good. But then bugger – not good. A further dollop. Covers hauled back in. Frust-rat-ing. (Don’t reach for the coffee, Ricky-boy)…

Don’t want delays. Got an Additional Learning Needs festival in Pembrokeshire in the morning. Either driving back late tonight or ver-ry early doors on the morrow.

13.25. Enter squall no 38, stage left. It worsens. I note at this point that despite ‘changeable’ weather being inevitably difficult to predict, it feels, in 2000 and whatever, a bit crap that wiv all their sexy computer-kit, forecasts generally seem to remain unfit for cricket. (O-kaay this is part daft, short-term frustration but a spookily high percentage of my cricket-related activity is ill-served by the Met Office/Accuweather and the rest). Can we, as my dad would undoubtedly have said, ‘stand them up against a wall and shoot them?’ Please?

Eye-frazzling brightness at 13.42. But is it A Clearing or another Temporary Respite? God knows.

14.02. The cover to my left (and I’m looking straight down the strip at the flats) is being removed. And we have a further announcingment: we start at 14.35. In theory. Sky have just tweeted that we are into a reduced game… but I haven’t heard what that reduction is… yet. Now I have. 42 overs; powerplay is 8 overs.

England bowlers warming up again. Sarah Glenn *actually shielding her eyes from the sun*. Honest. Bell and Cross working it.

England coach not looking that great with either the mitt or the sponge-bat, to me. (Lols). Over-hitting to Bouchier a good deal: dropping or misfielding the ball. But we should have cricket in a few mins… unless that greying turns into something. Looks to me like somebody’s been saying to Bell that she ‘has to finish her action’. Expect she will open with Cross: depite Eccles’ absence, one of the spinners may yet own the event but it’s a ‘seamer’s afternoon’. Whoo. I almost need my shades! Crossy is assiduously applying sun-cream.

Line-ups-wise. Interesting to note that Dunkley is listed as 5 and Capsey at 7, for England. That’s a generous bundle of mid-order boom. But they will field… and the sun has been lost behind cloud as we begin. Decent crowd in, given the mid-week thing and the potential for delay. Cross will open the bowling from the flats – Ashley Down Road End. She runs straight at me. Fine leg and third man out. Mizzle possible.

We have no replays in the media centre. So forgive errors. Wind may have stiffened a little. Cross, looking for swing, overpitches. Four, square. Then the bowler oversteps… but gets away with the free hit by bowling a leg-stump bouncer. Scoreboard not working: 5 from the over? No swing and the leg-cutters did nothing. Bell has the wind and it will assist her in-swinger, you would think. Second ball shifted a tad.

Love that Bell looks like she’s having fun so often. And think she IS concentrating on finishing that action – maybe to find extra zip. (She’s talked about that). Less meteorological/atmospheric support for the bowlers than I imagined. Review, from Cross. Still no scoreboard. Nip out to look at the screen: struck pad considerably outside off.

Should probably have started this blog with an overview suggesting that the universe *really needs* this match to be competitive. The White Ferns simply haven’t been that way yet. Both squads need a sharply-contested game. First four overs are quietish, which will suit the visitors, surely? But can they *press on?*

Bell scrapes her elbow, diving forward for a possible catch. Medics clean it up. Bates and Plimmer have looked untroubled. The former is charging, to try to mess with Cross’s length.

OK. We get a screen up. Bell goes widish but gets a thick outside edge, but Plimmer is safe. Flies harmlessly to third. Oof, but then a very sharp bit of work from Dean does for the opener. Direct hit. Run out. 21 for 1, New Zealand, as (A)Melie Kerr joins us. She wafts a little, at Bell but, importantly, persists, for now. My back’s giving me a bit of grief and I want to check out the vibe (and the conditions – particularly that wind) so off for a wander.

Media Centres are great but there’s nothing quite like being out there. As well as the obvious – crowd, ‘atmosphere’ – even a baldie like me gets to *feel the wind* and feel the smack as Bell (or whoever) slaps one in there. Asitappens, I’m down wiv da peeple when Bates fends wide and Amy Jones stretches soooperbly to claw it in. Right in the extremes of the webbing – so fine grab. And HUGE WICKET. New Zealand’s finest has to walk. Bringing in New Zealand’s finest: Devine.

Hey. It’s warm out there. And there are plenty people: good effort, Brizzle.

Double change: Dean from beneath me and Sciver-Brunt from opposite. 57 for 2 in the 13th. The visitors will know – may even be obsessed by the notion – that they have to execute both all the overs and with a challenging run-rate. Otherwise no point to this. Ecclestone is rested, meaning Capsey will prob’ly bowl a few: the White Ferns cannot *just* target her, though. They really must unshackle themselves from any fear and bring sustained boom – something they’ve been perennially unable to do. 59 for 2 off 14, at drinks.

Ar Nat goes full *and* leg-stump. Devine says ‘ta’: four. Then the bowler over-corrects; the short one is heaved towards Beaumont on the legside boundary. The fielder can’t quite read it and that painful half-volley-thing sees it through for four. On the edge of a chance. The further we get into this the less it feels like batting should be a grind. Not just because conditions have brightened: the pitch is just fair (whatever that means). Glenn follows Sciver-Brunt from Ashley Down.

Kerr is a good player. She goes at Glenn… and gets enough of it, downtown, to stay safe and raise a further boundary. 82 for 2 after 17. Dean is then getting some turn but also offering gifts, legside. England not at their max; not yet. Both Kerr and Devine finding the rope. Hearing from mates that the whole lot – Telegraph/Mail/Sun – are endorsing Labour. Insert your own swear word – I have. 100 up after 19.2.

Dean overdoes the going wide theory; four more. Do I need another walk/some more fresh air? Yes. I do.

OK. Enjoyable meanderage, partly cos it claimed the wicket of Maddy Green, but mainly because it provided that ver-ry strong sense that cricketplaces are just lovely places to be. It’s warmish; it’s chilled; there is action; there is intent – but not in a sense that implies bullishness. Plus I get to see both Cross and Bell side-on, with Jones 18 yards back and the ball coming through at pace. (I think I’ve decided I like this game).

Cross has bowled at least three no balls, which puts her on the naughty step. She’s also been almost three times as expensive as Bell. But still like and still rate her persistence and fullness and quality. Think she got Green with a leg-cutter but didn’t have the ideal angle on that. Whatever, Cross – as well as being exactly the ‘right sort’ of human – does bring the necessary heart and confidence to repeatedly find lots of searching deliveries. Does she lack the wee bit of edge that more pace might throw in there? Could she do with more Killer Balls? Maybe. But she’s a fine athlete and makes a strong contribution to the cause and to the team humour. I’m a fan.

At four-down, there are concerns for this contest. Are Kerr and Halliday the Last of the Kiwis? Unknowable but we might fear it. We need a game, here. After the burst from Bell and Cross we have Sciver-Brunt from Ashley Down again. Around to Halliday.

Glenn, who makes her living bowling *lots of balls* at the sticks, is bowling from wide-ish, to the leftie… and then to Kerr. Some are on target but two poor deliveries are both dispatched. More, barely necessary drinks, at 30 overs. White Ferns are 146 for 4. 12 overs remain; are they looking at 220? Just over 5s? Not likely to be enough.

JUST HEARD FORM MY BRO THAT CAVENDISH HAS WON TODAY’S STAGE. FECK ME THAT’S WONDERFUL. #TourdeFrance. #Legend.

Ahem. Onward.

Capley will bowl the 32nd. I might pitch-invade to tell her about Cavendish.

Amelie Kerr gets to 50. She is quality. One of the very best all-rounders out on the planet. Dean has switched ends to bowl towards me. But is again bit loose, to leg. Halliday can’t profit. Halliday clubs her out to mid-wicket, almost for six. More of that please – can’t imagine the White Ferns are setting the bar at survival-with-some-dignity level. In terms of their own development alone, they have to attack this. Bell returns to put the kaibosch on that. Delicious slower-roller has Kerr lbw. Reviewed. Great ball – difficult skill which the England strike bowler has pretty much nailed. Gone.

Then we have the opposite. Short ball, bit leg-side. Left-hander Halliday can only squiff it behind. This may be The End. 182 for 6 as a second new batter joins us. (Down and Gaze really up against it; newbies together with England on a charge. Absolutely the last thing the visitors needed). Seems unlikely that the ferns can get up to 5 an over.

Hope that England do something to increase the value of this game. Like opening the batting with Dunkley and Capsey. We don’t and the coach doesn’t need to see Beaumont or Knight or even Bouchier again – not really. So spice it up a bit and *offer some opportunities*. If not now, when?

Gaze, understandably, has a swish at Bell. Bit of a cross-bat hoik. It goes aerial and plops comfortably into Sciver-Brunt’s raised hands, at mid-off. 195 for 7. Lauren Bell has gone well today. In comes Rowe. Wee cameo from Down, who brings up the 200 but all eyes on Bell: another dreamy-druggy slower one bewilders the batter and she is caught by Sciver-B. Five-fer for the Shard, who has been simply too good for the opposition, today. She finishes with figures of 5 for 37 from her 9 overs. Too good.

Hope Jon Lewis does something bold with the batting line-up… but doubt it. I would go Dunkley/Capsey/Bouchier, for starters. Maybe Jones at 5: or even 4. Target 8 an over from the get-go. *That* would entertain us and make sense, in my view.

The reply.

Hannah Rowe will open to Beaumont. It’s a wide, which Beaumont nicks… but the keeper can’t snaffle it. Did swing, awaay – more than anything from Cross or Bell, interestingly. Third ball also swings a little. Fifth has the England stalwart plum. Game on?

Enter Knight, to play another ‘holding role’, presumably. Bit ungenerous and borderline cowardly, if you ask moi. It’s cloudier to our right and the conditions may be marginally tougher for batters, but Capsey and Dunkley need the work… and get selected on the basis of their capacity for boom… and the series is already won.

Penfold follows Rowe. In from beneath us. Quiet. Then Rowe – who has Devine at second slip – is bowling two shocking legside wides. 18.11. Lights on. England 12 for 1 after 3.

Bouchier is good. She looks right, looks confident and can hurt the bowler. Rowe bounces her and she hooks – really hooks – for 6. First one of the contest. For me, she’s a better player than Dunkley. Penfold is going o-kaay, here. Consistent; looking for leg-cutters, predominantly, I think. A rumour that the review system has been down… but we’re not sure when(?)

Meanwhile, Rowe has Knight, caught off a leading edge and possibly pad. So the visitors are in this. But the Mighty Goddess that is N S-B is marching out. She is plenty good… but of course the Ferns will be feeling like they have a live chance, here. Not sure the ball that did for Knight *did anything*, particularly. Stuck in the pitch, maybee?

Penfold has Bouchier mistiming – maybe they are sticking? – before the batter wafts high at a ver-ry high bouncer. Blimey. She tagged it and she also has to go; caught behind for not enough. Dunkley is in at 33 or 3, for the last ball of the 8th over. Powerplay honours significantly to the visitors. I’m fine with that.

Both Rowe and Penfold are bowling 67/68mph, mostly with two players out behind square. So some short stuff. Sciver-Brunt gathers one in tidily enough, to grab four. She tries to monster a free hit for 12… but slashes through mid-air. Devine replaces Rowe at Ashley Down. Unusually, Dunkley is 0 from 6. She nicks the single. Notably good energy in the field from New Zealand. Marching in: game faces on.

Predictably, a double-change. Kerr. Has protection square. Unzips Dunkley (also predictably?) with a fabulous googly but it’s bouncing over the top, on review. Tad fortunate, for England. 46 for 3 after 12.

Devine is going searchingly full, to N S-B, but errs. Clipped away fine for four. But the bowler is back, full again, at 68 mph. Ferns pressing with admirable commitment. Dunkley responds by clubbing Kerr downtown – and middling. Sciver-Brunt dismisses a drag-down in the same over. At drinks (14 overs) we are 62 for 3. England recovering somewhat.

Loose from Kerr. Full toss crunched through mid-wicket by Sciver-Brunt. Then another googly (with marginal turn) cramps Dunkley *just enough* and she is caught behind: 72 for 4. Interesting. Jones; with important work to do.

Amy Jones eases Devine away through extra, with no little style. She’s been England’s best batter of late – o-kaaay, alongside Bouchier – and a strong knock from her may be central to another home win. Coo; a wunnerful, fleeting moment of brightness. Will it last?

It’s still with us as N S-B biffs Devine to the boundary on successive balls, taking the England superstar to 38 from 34. Wee bit ominous?

Penfold returns, from underneath my chin. Jones blocks. Then clouts a short one over mid-wicket for four more. Are Our Lot beginning to assert themselves here? Maybe. Four more through extra, before the batter stares down a bouncer. Oof. Four over mid-wicket again – the ball only marginally short. England pass 100. Rowe is back.

Sciver-Brunt nearly clips her straight to fine leg but is okay. But Rowe is still finding some away-swing. Fair play. Eden Carson offering some off-spin from the media centre. Starts badly: first ball smashed, second should have been. Light is still helpful. 8 from the over. 118 for 4 off 22. Meaning 94 needed from 120 balls… and therefore New Zealand must bowl England out.

50 partnership up, from 43 balls. Carson a little unlucky to concede a boundary off a thin outside edge. Tidy over, apart from that. More drinks and instructions. Jones must be in some discomfort. Physio on and some energetic (but prone) stretches going on. Looking increasingly like I might be staying on in Brizzle and doing that early start home. (Late finish/exhaustion combo in play).

Nat Sciver Brunt came in with her side in potential grief. She has looked completely untroubled ever since: just steering things. Now she steers Rowe dead straight, for four more, to reach her 50. #Class. Jones has looked in some control, too, but she nearly finds mid-off, slightly mis-cuing Carson. It will be another demonstration of quality from these senior players, of course, if they take England home. But for me Capsey needed the batting and perhaps she and Dunkley should have shared the responsibility and the challenge of opening-up? Would have *focused things*. Unrealistic? Maybe.

Weirdly, Jones has taken to offering mid-on catching practice. (The second one was definitely a chance). But no dramas. Carson is bowling with some discipline – going at sixes, give-or-take – but something has to give. So Halliday brings her slow, slow-medium-pace(?) from Ashley Down Road. Might be hittable, (who cares) it’s different. Jones gets low and crunches it to go to 48. Seven from the over. Erm, more drinks. Giving me the opportunity to note to the universe that there are four or five of us here, to report this. (Read most things previous).

Kerr is back. Jones miscues her but clear of the off-side circle. 50. Then an absolute gift. Waaay down leg. Four. Ah: she’s caught behind. Late drama? Wouldn’t mind bitta that. Wanted Capsey in there: here she is. 50 needed off 71 balls.

Oof. Sciver-Brunt thrashes hard at mid-off – and I do mean *at*. Dropped. (Sharp chance but essential grab in this context). The batter responds by cutting hard for four.

Leg-spin is The Difficult Art, we know that but Kerr has been mixed. Another full-toss is belted away. Should arguably have been four. To be fair to her she’s got to go floaty and full- so may be courting errors – but she will not be satisfied with this showing. 43 from 60 needed.

Capsey nearly has a flutter, with her partner resolutely immobile. Scurries back. Can then take a single off Kerr. Good over from the bowler. If we’re to be critical, we might be saying singles are too easily available, here… and that Halliday (at her pace) should not be bowling wides… or full-tosses… and aaargh, that the Ferns cannot be conceding unnecessary overthrows! Suddenly England need 22 from 42.

Important that this game’s been competitive – and it has. Relatively. White Ferns have under-achieved with the bat again, albeit against a strongish bowling attack but shown us some decent work with the ball and in the field. They lack at least one bowler of top, top quality and maybe they need more than one elite-level batter, plus someone (or a team mindset) that brings sufficient boom to offer them real hope against Big Guns like Ingerland.

We can’t ignore the part resources (of all sorts) play in this. The White Ferns are on a par with the rest of the nations who ain’t, through political and geographic wotnots, in The Big Three. They need to continue to work hard and pray for the magic cycle to turn, offering them a freakish dollop of disproportionate brilliance. (It can, as they say, happen). The genuinely brilliant Nat Sciver-Brunt and the punchy Alice Capsey have simply had a tad too much for them. No disgrace in that, nor in the 3-0 series scoreline. ‘Twas to be expected. A 5 wicket win for the home side. Lauren Bell was deservedly the Player of the Match, for her five-fer and we Meedya Megastars voted Maia Bouchier Player of the Series.

Disappointments.

~ bowlingatvincent ~ Leave a comment

I don’t know anybody who actually thought Southgate would ‘ring the changes’ at half-time, last night. (Did the pundits actually expect that? I muted, early-doors but not before hearing Neville saying something hugely bold and generous about Trent: fair dooos, for a United Man). But the no subs thing became like some Uber-Gareth phenomenon, eh, as the deathly stasis wore on? There became something Ansel Adams-like about both the epic, barren non-performance of his side, and the vacant-but-rich flat-lining image we innocent bystanders were conjuring of the post-match interview, pre-Bellingham.

It would have been some vista, that, with Southgate’s magnificent chin set hard against an ominously swirling backdrop of plastic pint-pots, bratwursts and in then out-of-focus flags. He would have said something about ‘belief in the boys and the process’ before the lads from St Jan’s Ambulance dragged him away by the legs.

But Bellingham – out-of-form, largely; laboured and even a little lame with some of his in-box theatrix – did happen. He did conjure something spectacular and mad: in all this dullness. Gareth was spared – we were all, all spared. The Exceptional Reality that us Inglish inhabit got another nick in the bedpost… and those laughable hours of non-intervention by the coach turned out alright. Gareth could march once more through the miraculous madness/genius corridor and fight (or flee) another day.

I don’t know anybody who is crediting Southgate for any of this: I genuinely don’t think I know anybody who thinks he was right to wait and wait. And this is not because we lack patience or understanding; most of us respect the idea that faith in players is or can be both wonderful and (wot’s the word?) redemptive. The gaffer can and will make the argument that a) he was right in theory and b) (obvs) that he was right in practice. Kane may have been every bit as non-interventionist as his coach, during the tournament and the game, but the bloke nodded the winner. So it’s true that things worked out… and true that most of the universe raged against what felt like patent and even cowardly inaction from the England coaching staff.

Fabulous, ‘deadly’, daft contraflows remain. Those of us who have been angry at and critical of Southgate are the opposite of chastened and appeased. Despite noting the egg on our faces and the bare, extraordinary facts – and the undeniable decency of the man – we are unable to get with Gareth’s theory. (If there is one). The performance was yet again so dispiritingly one-paced and so dull that we dip into the weirdly abstract. How can we enjoy that stuff? In what way is this meant to lift or entertain us? (Even with that Late Drama it still registered as something closer to profound disappointment and embarrassment than to joy). Can’t we do better than this? With that fekkun line-up, surely we can do better than this?

I’m not sure that passage through trumps enjoyment, I’m really not. Friends and family have been saying since the first game that they don’t want England to go through playing like that. (Fact!) They’d rather someone else wins it, playing watchable or hopefully exciting football.

The Meedya barely registers this: as though *things really are* only about winning. There’s this assumption that fans only care about those bedpost notches – I assume because that plays in (or helpfully conforms to) the corporate/’Premier League’ mentality around buying into bigness. Sure we hear plenty loudmouthed donkeys on phone-ins adding fuel to that blinding fire: but I hear and I feel a whole lot more generosity from fans, than that. We care about levels of effort and commitment and heart and we value entertainment.

England are no doubt committed and no doubt they love their country – whatever that means. But there’s a heavy dollop of delusion in there, too. They probably do believe their dull pattern is ‘doing a decent job’. They probably think that ball retention is an end in itself, because ‘chances will come’. Bellingham probably did enjoy sticking it to all of us critics, by sticking that ball in the net. There probably is some truth in all of these views. Patience may be key, may be proven to be key. 2-1. Onward.

England may yet go on and win this tournament. But even if things change now, and they turn dramatically into a thrillingly inventive and creative side, fans local and distant will be underwhelmed. In one sense it’s already too late. There really is a Bigger Picture. We’ve seen a whole series of poor performances. Truly fine players have looked lost in a matrix of sluggishness. A team featuring Foden, Bellingham, Saka and Kane has offered almost no threat. That’s a disappointment: yes?

I’m with them.

~ bowlingatvincent ~ Leave a comment

Honesty-box spoiler alert-thing. I chose not to watch the England game tonight because I’m in Wales… and I expected what happened to happen. A repeat of previous – quite a lot of previous, some might suggest. But rather than get tooo smug about that, I’m going to drop in a few more thoughts; about coaching; about football; about Southgate.

I get that some of you think that this manager has ‘done enough’, has been a notable, even demonstrable success and there is some truth in that. But – because life is complex and there are feelings and responsibilities in play here – it’s also in question.

I chose to coach cricket tonight. For all its faults and that whole icon of conservatism vibe, the ECB transformed coaching about twenty years ago, to put self-learning and ownership at the heart of player development. Coaches were to instruct a whole lot less and allow growth of the player through great questions and Core Principles (as opposed to demonstration and didacticism-by-rote). Skills and brains and leadership were to be developed in a player-centred, even personal kindofaway. This ownership model was thought to be akin to, or essential towards kinds of freedom as well as kinds of discipline and growth.

There may be a case that football has a generic problem with this – so not just Southgate and England, but almost everybody lacks the capacity to find a way, to change, to invent, because most of what they know is on a chart or an ipad. Players are fed – stuffed – with external prompts, with a matrix rammed with all the possibilities except the option to ‘go native’.

The All Blacks had leadership groups decades ago. They made Churchillian team-talks and constant, match-day interventions and instruction from the coaching team almost superfluous. The players could decide stuff: could transform. They were ready; they were equipped; they were autonomous from game plans – or could be.

It may not be quite as simple as football being twenty years behind other sports, coaching-wise but I am going to argue the combination of delusional self-importance, over-coaching and the lack of individual, in-the-moment decision-making and/or tactical adjustments in the allegedly beautiful game is a force – and not in a good way. There are too many coaching staff making too many ‘interventions’. Players are not empowered, encouraged or trusted to make changes: they may be unable to because of the forty-two voices in their ears offering vital stats or shapes or ‘reminders, mate’.

This is a generic problem, for England and for the world that used to be just footie. The culture of game-management runs so deep and is so heavily reinforced by staff during matches that a sort of lethargy sinks in. Nobody wants to play badly or slowly or without any wit… but it happens. The game becomes beige – partly, admittedly because character (often meaning spunk or feistiness or that historic surge towards the gladitorial) is cancelled-out. Cheating and faking or exaggeration is so-o utterly ubiquitous that you can’t challenge: you can’t out-battle or physically dominate. And the gaffer won’t let you really surge. So there are almost no characters – no personalities – because there can be no expression from the heart: only the head. Or from strategies learned.

I accept, of course that the protection now offered to skilful players is a significant positive, as is the notable improvement in comfort on the ball, especially amongst defenders. But we need a balance, yes, between ‘sophistication’ and the things that make us roar? It may be that we can’t legislate for that… so again coaching becomes key.

My trusted Football People shouted most of this from our Whatsapp group, but narrowed-in on Southgate. We’ve all thought he’s been unable to liberate a very good group of players, for years. Tonight he’ll be hurting. Some of that is about how the game’s gone. But he is culpable, as are the players, and many fear he lacks the charisma or wit (or possibly the desire?) to stir up the camp.

Lastly, another barb from somewhere obscure, perhaps. What about the fans? What about entertaining/thrilling/energising the moment for the supporters? They love England and they love football and they’ve shelled out a huge wedge to pile over there in their thousands. Is there no obligation *at all* to show them some urgency? We’re not talking about reckless storming – not yet – but against ordinary teams, when the universe is shrieking that this is boring and ineffectual, is there no awareness of any responsibility to ‘go after ’em?’ Probably not. Because of that aforementioned delusion and the inescapable drip-feed that is game-management. Players really may be too self-absorbed (or too lost) to break out. The manager is responsible for that environment of fear and smotheration.

Below is my ‘report’ from the Serbia game. Hearing it remains relevant.

We’re all over-dosing, I suspect. Cricket, football, golf. Rain, sun, wind. Sleep. Drink. Swear. Fail to make sense but shout, anyway.

Us Lads were shouting about England again, last night. (We do know actually know football so if any of your opinions clash with what follows, then walk away, tutting). Do that early doors – as soon as you feel Southgate’s been slandered or tournament football’s been underestimated. You’re wrong and we’re right.

Swung in classical, predictable anger and disappointment awaaay from The Footie and into The Golf, in the hope that McIlroy could claim some triumph for lusty redemption and alacrity but erm, t’was not to be. We found yet filthier despoilment of the universal good. The poor bastard, having played with sensational coolness and consistency, on a gruelling track, against the gorgeous prostitute that is DeChambeau, missed TWO PUTTS that Aunty Nellie would have knocked in on a municipal in Belfast. It was absolutely Peak Trauma: life-shrivelling stuff. It was even worse than watching England.

Let’s deal with Southgate. You newbies may not know that Yours F Truly (and everybody I know and trust to be a Proper Football Human) has been saying the same kinda stuff about him for years. Fabulous politician and integrator/appreciator. Genuinely good man, as much by learning as by origins – and this may be another significant compliment. Almost certainly a tory-lite, by nature, but now gets most of the Essential Truths around multiculturalism, value and representation. Has grown manfully and generously into what he understands to be a ludicrously *important* and high-profile role. But football-wise? Mediocre.

The Southgate-era ‘tournament success’ is both real and flimsy, in the sense that England have been ordinary in both recent events. (Yup, I mean that). Played relatively little exciting and/or entertaining football: instincts have been to revert to holding/deadening the game/’absorbing pressure’… often against manifestly poor teams. Despite ‘going through’, fine players have looked stilted; one-dimensional; often one-paced.

Can of worms opened; so let’s deal with certain issues arising.

Yes I know that tournaments are often won by teams who have been as dull as ditch-water for much of the campaign: and that the *actual quality* of football carries less meaning for some than the end result. Shame, but true. Typically, teams plan or engineer a way through, rather than looking to out-play or thrash the opposition; partly because allegedly ‘there are no easy games’. (There are no easy games if you choose to contain; or accept the cat-and-mousery. There are no easy games if you shackle your fliers’ instincts to fly, pass, surge). There is a level of over-thinking – and therefore caution – because for all the inane talk of ‘positivity’ coaches fear the expression of pace and invention and threat.

Southgate is not alone in being very conscious of the flow towards choreography, organisation, shape. But his England are often a poor watch (and a real disappointment, given the players available) because he leans so heavily into that culture of game-management. Plus his substitutions are generally poor. Plus, despite picking young players and/or being aware of form, the energy of his teams can be flat. He’s a likeable but dull man, both in terms of lacking spark and being relatively slow-witted. Some of that may be reflected…

The ‘possession football’ his team adopted after an encouraging start against Serbia was nearly as dispiriting as the 4-5-1 default as soon as their pallid efforts gifted the opposition the ball. They were slow, they were boring, they were easy to defend against because they chose, actually to offer no threat. Just a long-term erosion of their opponent’s will.

You may say that nobody chooses to offer no threat and nobody chooses to play boring football. But Southgate’s Posse do it a fair bit, in tournaments. Foden – Foden! – was painfully insipid last night; Kane an irrelevance. Saka looked ace for about fifteen minutes. Then Serbia – Serbia! – were allowed to build and make incursions into a defence that the universe knows ain’t England’s strength. A draw looked likely for much of the second half.

Players and fans know when they’ve been crap. You can’t build confidence – or o-kaaaay, you’re unlikely to build confidence and momentum – if you play crap. And England were crap, against a very ordinary side that they should have walloped, given their personnel and the start they made.

Every one of the Proper Football People I spoke to after the game knows what tournaments are. What risk is. What proportionality is. Every one said they don’t want England to win this championship playing ‘like that’ – meaning with caution and ‘pragmatism.’ They all suspect Southgate of having poor instincts, particularly with regard to getting the best out of attacking talent. I’m with them. This England looks beige again: lacking leadership, lacking spirit and energy. Plainly there is brilliance within. I hope they find it.

In Question.

~ bowlingatvincent ~ Leave a comment

It would be absurd, plainly, to suggest that there’s a significant mentality problem with the Lionesses: (duh, ‘they only went and won the cup’). But as a fan and follower it does feel like that, a little. Many of us, I think, slip into anger at the nervousness plaguing so many players and/or so many of the early minutes of a ‘typical’ England performance – or should that be non-performance. There are too many howlers.

Again, last night, Wiegman’s side under-achieved pretty extravagantly, being wasteful, slack, lacking purpose or focus. Bright was understandably (and I thought rightly) in there for her physicality and strength against strong and athletic players, but her first contribution was an embarrassment, and she – of all people – seemed to lack the gumption and the will to drive through the spreading nerves and get to her natural (if limited) game.

She was by no means the only one. If you were to drop into that cheap marks-out-of-ten thing, Bright might raise a 4, but who would be above 6, from last night? Williamson, certainly: she may have felt both angry and yes, embarrassed at the level of passing and control and execution around her. The skipper was the proverbial head and shoulders above her team-mates, being the only one playing genuinely heads-up football. (The other prime candidate, generally, would be Walsh, but she was another profound disappointment, disappearing back into the dullness of the most unproductive of water-carrying roles: everything square or ‘safe’; keep-ball but no product. Worse, it often felt that wasn’t making angles to receive passes – so being relatively unavailable, as well as unthreatening).

Russo was wonderfully game and mobile, as always, at least offering some confidence and that potential for linking play. But her ‘killer’ passes or strikes at goal were notably feeble, sadly. Mead and Hemp are excellent players, but their propensity for early nerves and subsequent, intermittent failure to execute even simple passes or heavily rehearsed moves appears reinforced. Stanway had a poor game, Toone was anonymous and despite the additional presence of Bright, the defence again looked vulnerable – again, particularly in central areas.

I get that they were playing France, one of the best sides in the world. But patently England are one of the best sides in the world; they just haven’t played like it, for a year or more.

So we have to question Wiegman as well her players. Job numero uno for any coach of any team is to breed a confident environment: get players happy and able to express. (I’m not thinking we’re seeing that – you? No). We’re dealing with abstracts and moods and personal/psychological stuff, here, so let’s not pretend that this is simple… or entirely manageable, even. And yet it’s still the first box that a manager or coach has to tick. And that manager or coach will be judged, forensically or through anger and disappointment, on the quality and fluency of their side *through his prism*. Are players are giving a fair account of themselves? Or is lack of something – let’s call it confidence – undermining what they do?

If we zoom in then tactical matters and matters of pattern or playing style reveal themselves. But that prior and wider view is a) often more honest – in the sense that it’s more widely felt and understood – and b) it’s hard to shake.

The team humour resonates with fans; they share the nervousness and actually share it around; in the stadium. In this weather-vane ethersphere, the Lionesses are currently mid relative-trough; starting badly and getting caught in cruel, infectious, debilitating cycles of mis-step and angst. Small breakouts into almost-football but then another unforced error. It’s horrible to watch. Coaches have to stem this by either re-invigorating confidences, or doing the shouty-sweary stuff, to get people focused – to get them ‘doing their f*cking jobs’.

Stanway’s job is to cover the ground and make passes. Toone similar – although she darts more and gets into scoring positions more. But she, too, is not making the passes. Bronze may be and may think she is a worldie beyond criticism. But her defending is slack, and given those talents and that force, she’s nowhere near to maxxing-out her influence.

Wiegman is entitled to be thinking about the unthinkable: switching Carter to right back, bringing the left-sided (and tough, and strongish dead-ball merchant, and pinger of decent passes) Greenwood back in – let’s face it, she should have played last night – and either dropping Bronze or pushing her forward. The midfield needs a re-fresh and England’s strongest defensive line-up might be Earps / Carter / Bright / Williamson / Greenwood. (Morgan looks a player but is maaybee too like Williamson: Bright is on a warning but she was the best player at the Euro’s and she does offer old-school defensive virtues, plus a threat from set-pieces – or should). Bronze, such is the scope of her game and her dynamism, could displace any of the three current midfielders and probably bring greater consistency and penetration. (Not saying this happens, but the prevailing out-of-sorts-ness needs a remedy).

We/you/I could write a book about Earps: possibly even about her first contact with the action, last night. Was she already crocked – or how much was she already crocked? She just got in a slightly ungainly position to strike the ball, left-footed, then ouch. Something popped or cracked a little, without any clogging from an onrushing striker. We may never know whether Ar Mary – whom we genuinely love, for her Proper Football Passion – has been a wee bit selfish, in hiding or minimising an injury, so as to stay in the side. (We’ve all done it, yes?)

That story may be a thing of beauty and intrigue… or relative ugliness and deceit. Her switch for the impressively calm-looking Hampton was not what any side would want. But did it reduce the effectiveness or flow of the Lionesses? No. They were bitty and sometimes raw bad in any case. Their prospects for qualification look ‘in question’. Wiegman has work to do.

Derby Day.

~ bowlingatvincent ~ Leave a comment

Two hours forty-odd, from Brizzle. (No drizzle). Derby is cloudy and blustery – more so than I initially broadcast on my treble-fabulous, high-tech socials – so absolutely no surprise that Pakistan have chosen to have a chuck. Him with the shockingly white trainers just cursed the cold, out there, having just done an hour stint on the mic, in his flimsy jacket and slinky pants. It’s a very Derby day, in short. (No offence).

Sana is opening-up against Beaumont. Short wide one which the batter maaaybe should have cut away. Dot is wot the scorebook says. Third ball perhaps scoots a little low. Then a wide outside off. Weirdly intense quiet in the media centre and a quiet start to the game. 2 for 0. Small ground; smallish crowd. Jackets on. Then Baig – the best athlete and probably the best bowler on the visiting squad.

She bowls from underneath us… in the – I’ll just ask – *probably* the Racecourse End. (Nobody’s certain). She’s swinging it but wind assisted, no doubt. We have no replays in the press box so my error-count could be sky-high, today and my view is from a very fine fine-leg – so not baaad, but not my preferred straight-down-the-track lodging. Wind is from Baig’s right as she runs in again to Bouchier.

Early impressions are that a) it may be hard to stay consistent, for the seamers – breeze. And b) the track seems very true, so once you’re set, scoring may be do-able. Bouchier pumps a nice drive towards extra but Baig, in her floppy, judges the bounce well. Beaumont has her finchy-twitch-twirl going nicely: wrists going like they’re loaded up with bangles. She booms Sana straightish, timed, hard, at mid-on. Deserved runs but a taller fielder than the skipper, Dar, might have snaffled it. Beaumont is going at it, now – and middling. Three boundaries in quick succession. 34 for 0 after 7. Beaumont has 22, Bouchier 8.

Bouchier climbs into an over-full delivery from Baig. Towering… but four – one bounce.

Just as I’m starting to feel smug for that ‘once you’re set’ gambit, Bouchier is lbw, to Nashra. She made 17. The rather lovely – genuinely, in my experience – Dan Norcross wanders in and we find ourselves talking politics. I’m with him but we’ll spare you that. Heather Knight has joined Beaumont. Double bowling change. Umm-E-Hani bowling off-breaks from the (Most Likely) the Racecourse End. Not seeing turn but not ideally placed… and the bat is beaten. Ar Tammy is staying deep and hitting hard, repeatedly, for no reward, to the off-side circle.

Nashra Sundhu will bowl her second from the (Probably the) City End. Left arm, with some flight. First poor misfield gifts Knight a single. Quite possible that the England skip could go BIG, today. (*Fatal*). She has temeprament, yes?

Pleased to report that Kate Cross plays: enjoy watching her bowl. Knight misses out on a short, wide-ish one, from Umm-E-H, before sweeping her confidently square. Just the one. Run rate around 5, as we see out the 12th. One down, England.

One down until we have a review, that is. Beaumont is sweeping and missing… and out, lbw, to Umm-E-H. 61 for 2, as the notably imposing figure of Nat Sciver-Brunt stomps out there. She waits, deep, and emphatically cuts to the boundary. Nice. But two relative newcomers at the crease, now. Match status relatively even; up to England’s best and most resilient batters to go long and squish the visitor’s hopes. Drinks, at 15 overs. Bovril?

Certain amount of ‘finding the circle’ going on, from Knight – probably inevitably. She’s rocking back in relative comfort but not picking the gaps. But Umm-E-H bowls too many too full, and the England skipper drills classically for four, then forces a single to long on. Nida Dar will bowl herself, from the City End. No dramas.

Nat Sciver is showing her quality. She threads a beauty, straightish. Both she and Knight are reading length early, now, and looking to punish stray deliveries, which *do feature*. Oof. From nowhere, Knight is clumping Dar rather clumsily to mid-on. It comes quickly, but Umm-E-H puts it down. Not a gimme, but another opportunity missed – too many in the tour/series, already. Heather Knight is particularly well-equipped to bat long: don’t go offering her, of all people, a life.

Aliya Riaz is in from beneath us and bowling a shocker: drag-down. Escapes, almost unbelievably. England are steady rather than special, at 92 for 2, off 20. When the right handed seamer returns, Riaz fluffs a slower one for a wide, and then concedes the 100th run. It may be greyer out there. Conditions may well be playing into the lack of flow from both sides. It’s kinda gritty.

Fair play to the batters. They’re trying to *engineer* stuff. Reverses and hard running. But still a workwomanlike 107 – for 2 – off 23.

Now another stutter. Knight is caught behind, off a very fine edge. She made 29. Aliya Riaz the bowler. Capsey is in and defends a floaty yorker, before chopping away for a confident single. Feels like this could be an important hour (or whatever) for the young batter.

It’s brighter. And the outlook has shifted *elsewhere*. Sciver-Brunt – like everybody else, weirdly – had seemed untroubled but she’s also nicked one to the keeper. Gone for 37, leaving her side on 118 for 4. Riaz was again the bowler; despite appearing ‘mixed’, from this vantage-point, she has 2 for 12 off her 4 overs. Jones may need to continue her recent excellent form to conjure a decent total for the home side.

*Let’s add an ungenerous but realistic asterisk, here. We’ve seen enough of late to posit the argument that Pakistan are medium-likely to get blown away by the England bowling attack. (We may not, as either Tribal Brits or as neutrals *actually want that* to happen, but it’s a strongish possibility). So a good start from Pakistan is important to the quality of a) the day’s entertainment and b) the meaning or meaningfulness of the remaining games of the series. We want this competitive, for both sides. England need to build that culture-of-ruthlessness… and the visitors want to live at this elevated level. Capsey places Riaz between extra and mid-off, twice, stylishly, in the 30th over. But at 137 for 4 the run rate is considerably below 5: so England have major work to do.

It’s an open ground, this, with the breeze rattling through and around. Maybe we need to stress that as a factor in the day’s ‘errors’ and inconsistencies. The fielders are probably freezing. The batters are probably squinting and baring it.

Sundhu has changed ends. No dramas. Umm-E-Hani follows suit – now in from the City. Quietish. Capsey and Jones are no doubt receiving messages alongside their drinks, at 33 bowled. They’re both in – at 20 not out, apiece – and share a good level of dynamism. England need them to build… but boldly. They know that but the gaffer will surely be reinforcing that signal.

Lights have been on a while but the light is good. Low cloud and some of it leaden… but brightish beneath. Jones is fearlessly scuffing stuff away from middle stump, as she does. For all that the home side allegedly bat deep, these two are plainly the best bet for a strong and sustained attack, from England. And it will need to start reasonably promptly.

Sana maaay be plopping it there just a little but that one kept low. The bowler will be irritated by a further misfield at mid-on but it cost her just the one. 171 for 4 after 35. More from Ayeesha Zafar – her second from the Racecourse. A quick shuftie to my right confirms that Jones is going well again – strike rate just ticked past 100. Capsey is at 74.4. They have 36 and 29 respectively.

Zafar bowls two bad ‘uns on the trot: really could be suffering with the cool and the wind. Not heavily penalised but an offside wide not a great look for a slow bowler. And then another. (Low arm: bit of a mess). 185 for 4, England, off 38.

The question of par and/or what’s necessary are heavily convoluted by the threat of a batting capitulation from the visitors. And now by the wicket of Amy Jones, who departs, for 37, after top-edging Nida Dar. Hmm. The incoming Dean can bat but is not usually explosive. Capsey, despite her youth, may look/should look to take the lead.

Big Moment as England review an l.b.w.: no doubt sensing the drama the sky almost shockingly brightens. Dar the bowler; Capsey the batter. Missing by a mile. (No wonder the umpire twitched, before raising that finger). Wow. Really is incredibright, out there.

*Notes to universe*: this writing frenzy has to slow down. May be a ver-ry lopsided blog, this. And I need a walk – some air…

Capsey’s scoring rate has dropped off, a little. She cannot afford to let that happen. Maybe particularly with Dean at the other end. If Ecclestone was in, she would score quickly or get out. Dean is both better than that and less suited to the moment, arguably. 200 up in the 43rd over.

Fabulous hands as Dean invents one, through mid-wicket. Four, off Dar. Then the batter cuts square. (Waddooo I know?) But, hey, excellent and timely, for the hosts. Then she’s risking a single: word must have gone out. She’s only been in briefly but Dean’s scoring rate is almost double that of her partner. (120-odd to 60-something). Capsey cannot allow that to happen.

Okay. A cute reverse may lift Capsey’s energy. Nope. Dinks the next ball straight back to the bowler, Sundhu. A strangely disappointing 44.

216 for 6: Ecclestone. Run rate still under 5 – so not good enough… but may prove good enough. I’d be amazed if the coach hasn’t demanded 10 an over from the last 5. Ecclestone, without question, will be looking for boundaries. Immediately.

I have no issue with the fact that she is caught, immediately, dancing down and hitting Dar hard – to long on. We could argue that’s Capsey’s fault. Glenn.

This is another mixed performance, from England. A sensational bowling and fielding effort may not entirely gloss that over. It may work to Pakistan’s advantage that a) England will know they’ve under-achieved and b) conditions are almost certainly improved, for batters. Sunnier, anyway. 227 for 7, with 3 overs remaining.

Dar bowls Dean, who is swishing hard across the line. (Fair enough?) The batter made 20 from 21. Kate Cross joins Sarah Glenn. Singles. Then Cross – who hits nicely, straight – bolts one downtown for four. 233 with 2 to bowl.

Umm-E-Hani is in from the City End. Singles. Before Cross clonks straight at long-on. Gone, for 6. Bell is in, with 7 balls remaining. The fabulously tall seamer may have a real job to do, soonish – and how she copes with the cross-wind will be fascinating to watch. (She can hoop it… but *does bowl* legside wides). So a good test, for her.

Poor drop at long-off, from Sana, as Bell hoists. Then an optimistic(!?!) review (after no discernable appeal) for a caught behind. Joke. We’re done. England are 243 for 9 at close of innings.

OK. Fed and watered. But can I continue at the same relentless pace? No. It would be madness. Will relate the next hour or three at significantly lower revs – need to. Long, late-ish drive back to Brizzle incoming. Will try to strip this back to Meaningful Moments only.

Cross then Bell, for England. Irritated that Bell started with a legside wide. The wind is with her inswinger but You Had One Job. 9 for 0 after 2.

Two slips for Cross – partly because of that breeze. Sadaf Shamas and Sidra Amin the batters. Looking early doors as though the England bowlers are also battling the elements: wides and leg-byes already on the board. Bell has a slip in; she bounces Amin, then bowls another sharp sort one. Strikes glove (I think) but flies safe over Jones. Then a legside wide.

‘Patchy’ would be over-stating it but again the Shard-like One is only intermittently good. As you might expect, Cross is more consistent, has bowled three or four beauties – full and bold, leaving the batter late. Had ‘no luck’. The meteo-atmospheric mood – yup, made that up – has changed.Proper Cool, now and we’re really feeling those clouds. 37 for 0 after 7. Rate both these bowlers but are they world-beaters? Are they a world-beating opening pair? Possibly not.

Lols. With that, Bell has Sidra Amin caught behind, for 2. Fine ball – unclear if it was glove or edge. Who cares?

Next up? TWO legside wides – admittedly to a left-hander, coming around. Unacceptable. Lauren Bell *must have been* working on exactly this discipline for two years. Repeat that execution. Must have. If I’m the coach or bowling coach I’m thinking unacceptable. The keeper, Muneeba Ali, has joined Shamas.

Ecclestone, after 9 overs, from the city – later to be known as The Pavilion. Starts with a legside wide. 47 for 1 at the end of the powerplay. Enter Dean. She starts with a legside wide. Strikes me Jon Lewis, the England coach will not be happy – again – with the application (or otherwise) of the fundamentals. He was, you may remember, a top bowler and an elite bowling coach (for England) before accepting the wider remit. I thought Dean bowled poorly, overall, in the last game: she’s slung down too many rank deliveries again, tonight. As a group, Knight’s Posse have been ordinary, in two out of the three disciplines. 66 for 1, after 15.

I miss a wicket – guess why? (*Makes flushing noise*). Predictably, Ecclestone was the successful bowler, Sadif Shamas the unfortunate batter. She made 28. Ayeasha Zafar is not exactly inspiring confidence against the same, world-level spinner. Dean, meanwhile, has not expensive, per se. But for me she’s been repeatedly wayward. England need or will need better performances than this.

Ecclestone has been *all over* Zafar. Now she comprehensively bowls her. 79 for 3, off 19.4. At last: quality. Nidar Dar will have two balls to face. Or three: wide. Then Glenn will replace Dean. As so often, she lands the first one on middle. Oof. But then Dar sweeps her for four! Pakistan will certainly have majored on upping their intent in recent times. And this game is winnable – they have to believe that. The run rate is currently 4.1: they need 5.5.

Cross will have a dart from the City, or Pavilion End, or Somewhere. (She’s switched and is now coming at us, to the left-handed Muneeba). Cloud nestling lower, now – is more in the game. Two wides in the over, the second of which brings up the 100.

Glenn. Capsey dives over one, just a wee bit, and it passes through to the boundary.

General: this is feeling like another 6/10 performance, from England. A stack of those, under the current regime. Could be that Sciver-Brunt being at 50% – carrying some hurt, not bowling – is affecting the quality of execution of the whole team. Could be. But the group feels unfocused, asking questions of the leadership: we may suspect that something’s gone a bit stale. Either the coach can’t drive them or the group needs a further refresh. New captain? Raging bollocking (or equivalent?) More laughs?

Bell is back and bowling a great over. Deservedly gets a caught behind: Muneeba gone for a decent 28. There is a wide in there again but this has been a strong, committed, purposeful over from Bell. 118 for 4, now, after 28.

Dar is sweeping Glenn and missing. After view it’s clear that the ump was right – not out. Run rate creeeeping up towards 6. Light fading a touch. Despite some evident determination from Pakistan, could be things are beginning to tilt towards the home side. Perhaps?

Riaz only gets about a third of Bell but is extending in classical style, so clears the bowler and off it bundles. Four.

Drinks, then four dot balls from Glenn. But Riaz responds with a choice back-cut, to the boundary. Sweet. Ecclestone replaces Bell at the Pavilion ( By Consensus) End. Then Dean for Glenn.

Dar really connects but can only biff Dean out to Beaumont on the midwicket boundary. Important moment. 149 for 5. How much more have Pakistan got? Maybe not a huge amount. Dar made 26 and is replaced by Fatima Sana.

Ecclestone is confidently appealing: Sana in front. The batter immediately reviews. She’s out. (For entirely selfish reasons, a rush of wickets would be nice. Looking at a longish, late-ish drive if we go right to the wire: windows open job. Not that this is about me). T’other keeper, Najiha Alvi sees out the over – a wicket maiden. Run rate is now 6.4.

Coo. Dean is full to Riaz, who mis-times. Given on the park. Review. Out. 156 for 7. 19.17pm. (8Thinks: how quickly can we get this done?) Umm-E-Hani joins Alvi: they are both on nought. Ecclestone has bowled out at 26 for 3. Instrumental, as so often.

Cross from the (Pretty Emphatic, Now) Pavilion End. Bowls Hani -163 for 8. Then England review for a fine edge – or glove? Unconvincing and not out. Diana Baig has joined us. Suppose I could go jump in the car and leave you with the following:

another lukewarm win, for England Women.

But too big-hearted for that shoddy soundbite malarkey. Let’s see this out… even though ev-reee minute is… (g-nash, g-nash).

Crossy wants to finish this, probably for me. Bounces Baig, with Jones standing up. Smartly taken, by the keeper. The batter responds with a flukey edge and striking lofted drive (both four) before playing ‘twister’ to the next. Caught mid corkscrew off a bewildering leading edge (or something). Nine down, Sundhu in. Come on, Crossy girl!

We go into the 43rd over. Dean’s last. No dramas.

Cross has one more. Bowls a strange, loose bouncer at Alvi. And then oversteps. It’s all looking a bit tired. We go into the 45th. Glenn will bowl it.

She’s had back trouble. That first delivery won’t help it. Falls in a heap and bangs it in about halfway. Looks in some discomfort. Dusk settling in. We go on.

Surely Bell can end this? Appeals, but drifting down. Good, straight yorker – defended. Thick edge flies safe. No dramas. Now we’re seeing the lights. Glenn.

Wides, bringing the total for extras to 40. Top score.

Bell’s gonna get another go. As is Glenn. Alvi has 24, then 25, again asking questions about England’s lack of potency.

We go into the last over. It’s gone 8 pm. I could easily be disillusioned but I’m just a wee bit tired. Have enjoyed my Day at Derby. Thankyou to staff and comrades and always, always, despite trials, tribulations and missed ‘non-negotiables’, the players of both sides. Another lukewarm win, for England. Pakistan finish on 206 for 9.